Now I think if we are all honest with ourselves we have been judgemental at some point within our lives. Most of the time we don’t mean it or even know we are doing it but we just do.
In my time in the military I became extremely judgemental over people. Now I think there are two ways of being judgemental the first is negative judgement for example, I personally judged on the unit you were apart of and if you weren’t from an infantry unit then I dismissed you straight away. This was wrong, I had already dismissed a relationship with someone over the unit or job they did within the military and the honest part of this is that I think almost all soldiers of all ranks do this sub – consciously. This isn’t a good trait and something I look back on now with disappointment.
The other is positive judgement now I saw this as things like judging you on your fitness. Some people could view this as a negative but within the job role I saw it as a positive you could apply it to things like organisational skills or punctuality as well. Judging people on their fitness within the infantry context is a must. In leadership roles it was and is important to be able to objectively judge peoples abilities.
So why am I banging on about being judgemental? It’s easy really I want people to see there can be a difference between the two. One can be used as a force for growth and positivity the other can be extremely detrimental to a person’s wellbeing.
I was subject to positive judgement throughout my career whilst I was reported on which was fine and actually is a useful tool within jobs where reports are written however, during my last year within the military when I was crashing down a slippery slope it was negative judgement I received. I was judged by either a label that had been given to me by medical professional’s, which is shocking, or by comments that I had made publicly about my PTSD.
But the people that judged me only had to pick up a phone and ask what was wrong or going on. Their judgement of me behind closed doors made me worse and made me more conscious and anxious of what people thought of me.
Now I will speak for many when I say not to judge based upon a label, colour, religion and so many more because that’s wrong in so many ways. Being judged because I was diagnosed with PTSD was an awful feeling and one I will never forget.
For me judging people in a negative manor was something I did and something I have learned from. By being judged myself at a vulnerable stage in my life it showed me how bad it can affect people.
Be kind don’t judge and learn from your mistakes.